Ms. Teen USA South Carolina

SAY WHAT?

By now, you have all seen this amazing video...
http://youtube.com/watch?v=WALIARHHLII&mode=related&search=

Absolutely amazing. There is no way anyone should be defending this girl. I don't know what institution this debacle damns more...beauty pageants or the American education system. This is a girl who has floated through life, getting bye on God given physical beauty. Finally it seems, people are waking up to the fact that we are raising an entire generation of phone texting, Lohan watching, instant gratification seeking numbskulls. If she has a 3.5 GPA without the ability to create a coherent sentence, the school needs to be closed. Of course, if we paid our TEACHERS a decent salary, that might get some of the best and brightest into our classrooms... but I digress.Simply put, this girl is a sad indication of the state of our country. TO be in a position to represent in ANY CAPACITY an entire State and not be able to hold nor start a conversation is inexcusable.

Tonight is the State of the Union address. In that spirit, I thought I would bring a brief state of our union from President Dave.


My Fellow Americans -

Never in the history of our country has the state of our union been so bleak. Our elected leaders have led us down an almost irreversible path. The horrors of September 11, 2001 gave way to waves of patriotism, legions of volunteers, millions of donations, and feelings of civic pride not easily found in the rushed world of today. Instead of using this horrible event to renew our leadership role and re-cement our place as the beacon of hope in the world, the victims of September 11th had their memories prostituted to the citizens of the United States in the form of hyper-nationalistic neo-conservativism. The war in Iraq became the back story, as the Bush administration distracted thoughtless voters with gay marriage, abortion, and tax cuts. All the while, we have the largest deficit in our history, trade deficits are spiraling, healthcare costs are out of control, our borders are a sieve for illegal immigration, our ports and airports are not secure, and thousands of our nations bravest have died far away from home in a pointless war.

We have been used. Our leaders have failed us.

It is up to us to voice our opinions and change our country.

Dueling Divas

Over the past week, two of America's most noted popular artists have done their best to stomp a mudhole in sportsmanship by flipping out when they were not given awards.

First, we have the mental midget Kanye West. In a live, expletive-ridden tirade during the acceptance speech of another artist, Kanye screeched that "...my video cost a million dollars, Pamela Anderson was in it. I was jumping across canyons! If I don't win, the awards show loses credibility."

Credibility? Ummmmm..... yea. With two college professor parents and an upper middle class stable home to grow up in, is it really necessary to keep it real up in da 'burbs, Kanye? YOU ARE A SCREAMING LITTLE BABY with no real issues except the burden of having family that provided well for you and gave a crap about you. Shut up, pick up your Mr. Microphone, and go home... you make David Hasslehoff look like Dr. Dre.

Also throwing a little hissyfit was our favorite country diva, Faith Hill. When Carrie Underwood was announced as the winner of the award they were both nominated for, Faith threw up her arms in disgust and yelled, "WHAT?" in disbelief.

Yea, like HOW could you give that award to ANYONE but fabulous ME? I love these self-important people who live their lives with a sense of entitlement. Sorry Faith, just buy a big necklace or something and I am sure you'll feel all better. Reality left this woman in the dust a long time ago.

Meanwhile, in the world of President Dave...

• Humility and graciousness have gone by the wayside these days. Popular musicians, pro athletes, and actors treat their fans as their cross to bear, and the world like it is theirs to take advantage of and be rewarded by. Their wealth tricks them into believing that they are more important than everyone else, and they act out like spoiled children forbidden from getting a toy at the store. Perhaps if parents stopped giving the children toys to make them stop whining...

Bad Will Hunting

Vice President and part-time Dubya puppeteer Dick Cheney will once again, God help us, don the Elmer Fudd hat in search of timid, farm raised fowl on election day. With any kind of luck, the helpless domestic game will outmaneuver the Veep and he will shoot himself in the foot.

Cheney will be accompanied by his political director Mel Raines, whose job it will be to keep him informed of the election results. Mel better hope for some good news for the GOP. After all, he wouldn't want to be "mistaken for a small grouse", would he?

Meanwhile, in the world of President Dave...

• Get out and vote tomorrow folks. It is more important now than it has been in a long time. More and more of our individual freedoms are being encroached on, and our history of non-participation is being counted on by those who would take advantage of it for their own gain. We are quickly losing our governement of the people, by the people, and for the people in favor of those who treat us like a financial statistic in their own personal Monopoly game. Take back your government that is supposed to represent you by voting! Make your representatives ACCOUNTABLE for their actions and affiliations, and don't let them count on our apathy anymore!

Is that a pulpit in his pants?

The latest contestant in the massive hypocrite contest is the president of the National Association of Evangelicals, Rev. Ted Haggard. The staunch anti-gay crusader and Bush administration buddy apparently has, quite literally, not been practicing what he preaches. He is accused of paying a male prostitute for sex over a period of three years, to which he has so far admitted to "some guilt". Where there's smoke...

Meanwhile, in the world of President Dave...

• I have to giggle with glee when a self-righteous blowhard like this guy gets exposed. It takes a special kind of mindset to stand there and tell other people that being gay is wrong while you play cabana boy on the side. It is this type of hypocrisy that cannot be tolerated and must be exposed. People of influence and political power MUST be made to realize that we will not tolerate being lied to, or used for political or personal financial gain. APATHY IS KILLING US people! Get out and vote! Question ANY authority figure, be it a minister OR a President. It is not only your right, but your DUTY to do so!

Aaaaand they're off!

Today's overblown incident comes from the mouth of Senator John Kerry. In a speech that was built around blasting President Bush's failed Iraq war, Kerry was quoted as saying:

"You know, education -- if you make the most of it, you study hard and you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck in Iraq."

To no one's surprise, every major news outlet jumped on this 3 second snippet and gleefully went into tabloid mode... with CNN.com even making it their "DANGER RED BIG ASS STORY OF THE HALF SECOND THAT YOU NEED TO KNOW NOW NOW NOW!"

Of course, the Bush white house had to make "official statements" DEMANDING an apology for such an OUTRAGEOUS remark.

Meanwhile, in the world of President Dave...

• Anyone who bothered to read the context of the comment knows that it was not about the troops, but about stating the obvious failures of George Bush. Senator Kerry needs to be smarter, and realize that the failed administration is looking for ANY scrap of meat to sink their lousy, corrupted teeth into. NICE MOVE JOHN.
• George Bush and his legion of doom really have no room to talk, do they? Come on now guys, you've made your money for your pals and yourselves...MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! PLEASE don't act with some fake-ass righteous indignation! Give us all a break.
• The media, almost ALL media, have become high tech parasites waiting to suck the blood of the next meaningless, irrelevant story to be able to say, "You heard this stupid crap here first!" You are all OWNED by corporate dollars, and everything you say should be taken with a pound of salt.

Perhaps we may get some news on our deaths in the middle east, or our middle class jobs being shipped to India, or big oil using it's money to influence politicians to shy away from the development of alternative fuels....

NAH! Gimme a BLOOPER!

Gimme a friggin break.

The World of President Dave

The following is a short list of just a few of the things we will attack during my administration:

• Overly litigious losers and the shysters that lend them crooked credibility
• Politicians who use the middle class to anchor their own greedy agendas
• People who don't attempt to help themselves, yet feel society owes them
• The rich and super-rich who have the unmitigated gall to whine and complain

The list goes on and on. We will reveal, one by one, examples of the things that are ruining our society in America today.